Earning Stripes
by Mayofish
Summary: Between constant chest binding and bloodstained sheets, Yukimura Sanada would earn his place as the man his father wanted him to be. Collection of Oneshots. Fem!Yukimura.
1. Chapter 1

**Line Art.**

It was early morning and the sun had yet to peek over the horizon. Inside the Takeda Estate, the young Lord Sanada's hands were shaking, gauze tightly gripped within balled fists. Sasuke Sarutobi watched from just inside the closed doors.

"Danna." He whispered, eyeing the bloodied sheets.

Yukimura continued to struggle to remove the bandages. Sasuke took a step towards his master and the dim light shone in through the rice paper. Sasuke analyzed his young mater, the slight plumpness that lay behind a toned chest and the blood crusted on the inside of Yukimura's thighs.

At the moment Yukimura was not the powerful Takeda warrior, no, that this time and place, Yukimura was the only child of Masayuki Sanada and Yukimura was very much a scared young woman with the life a man shoved upon her.

"Let me help," Sasuke reached out to Yukimura — to _her_. He picked up the breastplate that had been carelessly tossed to the side and helped adjust it. "There. Now let's clean up the blood."

"Why couldn't Father just have had a son?" Yukimura whispered.

"The gods have a plan for you, Danna."

Yukimura looked up at his retainer and he was a man once more — strong and loyal with a burning spirit. Yukimura Sanada would be the man his father set him up to be.

_A/N: I usually try my hardest to be historically correct but this had been running around in my head for weeks. And it's so awkward to write, I can't figure out what pronouns to use. More to come._


	2. Chapter 2

**Flat Colors.**

Yukimura Sanada remembers every time the overwhelming reality of her gender crashed down. Yukimura keeps track, not because it bothers her, but because it allows her to remember that she indeed a woman.

The Tiger Cub of Kia does not find gender important and neither do the only two living who know her deadly secret. Shingen Takeda respects her strength and willingness to anything for the honor of her Father's name. Sasuke Sarutobi could not lose respect for his Lord even if he tried.

And above all, Yukimura is who she is, she as strong as any male and she does not mind who sees her as what. She holds herself high and to anyone else, she is simply Yukimura Sanada, a young and powerful man and lord. She knows that she must hold up her male identity to keep her respect—but she herself craves this respect and it is not damaging in the least.

At the same time, if one, such as Sasuke, was to view her as a woman, it would not bother her. Although she keeps count of each time she had been acknowledged as a woman and keeps them close to her heart. The only problem with being a woman is the weakness that is associated with it and Yukimura worships this fact.

There were exactly three times when her gender became obvious and exactly three times she was acknowledged as a woman.

The first time was when her breasts starting budding. They never got too big, but she remembered the first time Sasuke helped her bind and she remembered when Shingen made her specially designed breastplates.

The second time was when her monthly bloods started. She awoke to bloodstained sheets and Sasuke came running. Shingen introduced her to an herb that caused sterility; it took a year before the monthly bleeding fully ceased. Out of all of it, this was the hardest for Yukimura to deal with.

And the third, that third was the most important mistake but at the same time it was so_ right_. To say exactly how it happened is irrelevant and to tell the truth, Yukimura can't really remember. Maybe there had been too much sake and just too much heat in the room.

It all started with a few drinks and Yukimura and Sasuke's normal tactical training. Then all Yukimura remembers is Sasuke kissing up and down her neck and his hand sliding into her pants.

"_S-Sasuke, w-w-what are you doing?" _and she had been so lightheaded and it felt so wrong and right at the same time.

"_You drive me crazy…" _Sasuke whispered and he had been avoiding her for the past few days. His touch had been so tender but his skin calloused and scarred.

There had been a silence and Yukimura's head had been spinning and Sasuke's hands paused on her upper thigh. Their eyes met and maybe that's when she fell in love with him.

"_Tell me to stop,"_ he panted, _"Tell me this is shameful, Danna."_ He was practically begging and it hurt her head.

And she hadn't wanted him to stop because it would just made sense that if she was to lose her virginity it would be to Sasuke Sarutobi, the shinobi who raised her, the warrior that swore his life to her, the man that she could very well _be falling in love with_. It was either him or no one, she could remain an innocent untouched little girl forever, or she could be a woman on the inside.

"_D-don't stop, Sasuke," _her voice shook but it held the confidence and valor the Sanada family was known for.

Sasuke's whole body had shook then and their eyes met. He kissed her on the lips for the first time, it was soft, tender and everything Yukimura wanted. His fingers moved to her core then, hesitant because Sasuke had so much more experience than she did but this was different, this was his lord and he had wanted to do this for gods know how long.

He undressed her tenderly and she returned the favor with shaking hands, kissing down his chest. He had stopped her when she got to his pants and laid her back down. He shuffled slightly and then there was a pause. She could feel him at her entrance and held her breath.

"_A-are you sure, Danna?"_

"_Yes."_

And so he thrust, fast and sharp. She hissed and gripped his back, feeling the textured scars and ignoring the pain. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes and Sasuke's heart broke.

"_D-Danna, I—"_

She cut him off with a fevered kiss. _"Move,"_ she panted and so he did because who was a shinobi to deny his master?

She had become a woman, but at the same time she was still a man.


	3. Chapter 3

Shading.

Sometimes Sasuke regrets all of it. Sometimes Sasuke thinks he took advantage of Yukimura's feelings. His master is, after all, a woman and Sasuke hates himself for having such thoughts about his master.

But, despite what the rest of the world knows and despite all appearances, Yukimura is a woman and Sasuke is, without a doubt, a man. And she is intoxicating in ways the ninja does not understand.

They were both in too deep; Sasuke realized and pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

"What's wrong Sasuke?" Yukimura was confused, her top half off and her face flustered.

"Nothing, Danna." Sasuke stood up and didn't dare glance back at his master.

"Sasu—"

"I have to go do my rounds."

There was a pause.

"You're going to Kasuga again." Yukimura may have been naïve and hotheaded, but never stupid and despite Sasuke's excellent ability to lie and deceive, the situation was obvious.

Sasuke froze and ran his hand through his hair. "Yes."

The young lord said nothing and Sasuke knew with being young and gullible came a dangerously weak heart and Sasuke hates it how Yukimura fell in love with him in all the wrong ways and for all the wrong reasons.

Kasuga was a woman and even thought it was now painfully obvious that Yukimura was too, Sasuke couldn't do this, couldn't corrupt his master any farther.

But Kasuga is cold and cruel, even in bed. Yukimura is burning and as much as a passionate lover as she is a warrior.

Yukimura let him leave and Sasuke wished she would stop him.

It scares him though because, at the same time, Sasuke may very well have fallen in love with Yukimura. The thoughts that race through his mind are shameless, as his Danna would say but Yukimura never once pushed him away.

Sometimes Sasuke regrets everything.


	4. Chapter 4

Highlights.

Yukimura Sanada could very well have been a masochist—a glutton for punishment and battle. As naïve as the young lord was, it was obvious to Sasuke that this trait would be his general's downfall.

"But what am I without My Lord?" Yukimura shouted, angry and hurt and broken. This had been going on for days now and the young lord just didn't give up.

And Sasuke was angry too.

"You have to pick yourself up, Danna! Move on! You are the General now! Start acting like one!"

Yukimura was young, so very young.

"I can never replace Lord Shingen!"

Sasuke growled and, for the first time, raised his hand against his Lord.

"Idiot! You do not need to replace him! Just continue on in his footsteps!"

Yukimura reeled back from the impact, shocked. The samurai looked up at Sasuke, flustered and that's when he fully comprehended it.

"S-Sasuke." And it was her voice that threw him off guard and Sasuke was not someone easily distracted. There was a pause and he stood looking for words.

"I—"

Yukimura smiled and cut the shinobi off, "I understand now, Sasuke."

And maybe she had been doing it all on purpose—just to see if she could get him mad.


	5. Chapter 5

Sketch.

It was late and for some reason the light in Yukimura's room had yet to go off.

Sasuke approached curiously in silence.

"Danna," he whispered, "Are you still awake?"

There was no answer, but the shuffling of silk alerted the shinobi of his answer. He opened the door to find Yukimura trying to adjust an expensive female kimono. It was a wedding kimono, her mother's.

And she really had no idea to tie it to flatter her less than feminine body.

"Where did you find that?"

"Lord Shingen gave it to me," she continued to struggle, her voice quiet.

Sasuke took a step forward, the air heavy. He took the obi from her and tied it in an elaborate bow. Then, without pausing, pulled her hair into a bun, holding it there and meeting his Master's eyes in the mirror.

The tight obi allowed the slight swell of her hips to be more pronounced but Yukimura still frowned. She brought her hands up to her chest.

"I'm still not as good as Kasuga."

And it broke Sasuke's heart. Is that what this was about?

"Why would you want to be like her?" Sasuke let go of her hair and tugged at the bow.

"Because you would rather be with her than me."

Sasuke shrugged.

"Danna, it's different. You are my General and she is…well she is Kasuga."

Yukimura spun around. "So treat me like you would her."

Sasuke was taken aback.

"D-danna..?"

She shrugged off the kimono and quickly threw her hands around his neck, crushing their lips together violently.

Sasuke growled and he hated this and hated her and how did such a boyish girl have this much control over his emotions?

He pinned her to her futon, and just like she asked, Sasuke treated his lord just like he did Kasuga. He hated it, she deserved so much better, and he hated himself for thinking that in the first place. He was rough and she took it, enjoyed it, and begged him for more. It made his head hurt and his manhood throb because she was too good for him.

He hadn't needed to bother with much foreplay, she was wet and ready, and it surprised him. She was passionate and everything Kasuga was not in bed. Yukimura arched against him and screamed, unlike Kasuga, who despite all appearances was not a loud lover.

The young Sanada did not even complain when Sasuke demanded her to flip onto her hands and knees, she accepted all he had to give her and it drove Sasuke crazy. He hated that he loved her and hated that he lost himself in her.

"H-harder, Sasuke…"

He cursed and bit into her neck roughly, something Kasuga would have never allowed.

And he hated himself for comparing Yukimura to Kasuga.

She arched and shuddered, moaning loudly.

There was no comparison, they were opposites; lust and love, cold and hot, everything one was, the other was not.

"Danna…" Sasuke groaned.

"Do it, Sasuke," Yukimura barked out between moans, knowing full well what he meant.

So he did, exploding within her (again something Kasuga would never accept) and gripped her hips tightly in his still gloved hands—the claw like digits digging into her skin.

He rolled over next to her, staring at the ceiling. Yukimura panted, her body shaking.

Finally, her breathing evened out and she rolled over to face him.

"I love you."

Sasuke turned his head to look at her, his eyes wide, like a deer in the headlights.

This couldn't be happening, not now, not ever. Yukimura had so much potential and falling in love with him of all people would only put a damper on her flame. She was supposed to be a man, a warrior, not a foolish woman who fell in love at all the wrong times with all the wrong people.

Yukimura rolled onto her back avoiding Sasuke's gaze—smiling.

And it hurt so badly because he loved her too.


	6. Chapter 6

Background.

It started out as a fight with Mitsunari. They were seeking an Alliance. Mitsunari, always fast when striking, made it past Yukimura's block, he (as he was a he when battling), faltered, fell back and the multiple swings ripped at his chest.

He had jumped back just fast enough, but at the same time, not fast enough. His breastplate fell off in shreds.

Sasuke appeared in front of him—her—not but seconds later. Mitsunari's eyes widened slightly but it was hard to tell if he knew.

"Do you accept the proposal or not?" Sasuke growled.

Mitsunari paused.

"I do."

Sasuke sent Yukimura away to fill out the treaty with Yoshitsugu.

The subject was never brought up.

That night, Sasuke was tending to Yukimura's cuts. He touched her tenderly and Sasuke had learned long ago small breasts where more sensitive, especially those that have been under bindings day after day for years. She still flinched at his touch.

He bit his lip to hold himself back. Since when did he start feeling this way about his master?

"You have to be more careful, Danna."

Yukimura's face was flustered. "I know."

Sasuke's possessive.

He holds Yukimura tight to his chest at night. You can't keep a secret forever and he knows it. Someday someone will find out. He tightens his grip. Yukimura sleeps on.

He dislikes that she flaunts her flat chest but at the same time understands. But only he has seen, touched, tasted, the secrets hidden under her chest plates, hidden between her legs. They are his—as is she.

But secrets are not eternal.

And Sasuke knows this.


End file.
